The Perfect Family?

This past week, I went to the grocery store with my youngest for some Mama-Cedric time, also known as What You Forgot To Buy Before Dinner.  

Not at the store that moment, but a successful carry shot nonetheless.

Let me be clear: I enjoy seeing people smile at my babies. I would rather people be excited and affectionate towards babies (and perhaps make me uncomfortable with their friendly intrusiveness) than be neutral or annoyed. It's not always the case, but to me it's an attitude of celebrating life. Or, at least, that's what I was told by a friend after wanting to smack a cashier's hands away from my hugely pregnant belly a couple of years ago. I still might not let people touch my stomach, but I have grown to appreciate their enthusiasm. 

ahem. 

back on track.

ish?

As we cruised around, singing to the store radio and gurgling at one another, an older man came up to me and haled my son. The usual 'hello, look at you!' and 'what a friendly baby' and then

 'now all you need is a sister'.

 Then he wandered away. 

I assume, he wasn't trying to be negative.

I assume, he was being friendly and enthusiastic about growing families. 

I'm just wondering: 

is it so bad that he has a brother instead? 

It's not so much this kind older gentleman in particular as it is the mindset that I've experienced many times over the last 14 months: as soon as we found out we were having a second boy. In addition to generous congratulations, we also received a lot of comments similar to these: 

'

You'll just have to try again for that girl!

Hopefully you won't have a third boy.

Will you keep having children until you have one of each?

The funny thing was, it seemed to be completely normal to say this to us. 

Now, I'd love to have a girl. I'm actually worried she'll end up being like me and we'll drive each other insane, but I'd love to have more children with my husband, and if we have a girl, for the win, I can't wait to see who she is.

I'll be honest: I want to use my saved clothes and toys and barbies and that silly pink tent that makes tucking in the sheets an absolute nightmare but is so cool to an eight-year old girl. I want to share make-up tips and go camping and use glitter without being Superman and raise a daughter of God in all the complexity that He created her to be.
Just know that if we have six more boys, I will also be pretty stoked. 

So why the push for us to forget the awesomeness of having two boys and immediately begin thinking of getting another in the mix? 

Perhaps the mindset of most people has become a bit too quota-oriented. At least, in the case of children. For the workplace and perhaps other areas, (cooking! I need seven loaves of chocolate banana nut bread!) that's one way to measure productivity. I'm not smashing the idea in terms of goals. I am, however, cheerfully stomping on the toes of the 'perfect family' concept. 

One of each? If that's what you'd like, and that's what you got, congratulations. God has blessed you with children. Awesome!

Two of each? more blessings.

Two of one and one of the other? more. 

Four of one and three of the other? Six of one? and people start giving me the

 'you obviously haven't heard about conserving resources, realistic child-rearing expenses and planetary overpopulation' look. 

O, sorry, Didn't we fight a war over selective breeding a while ago? 

This isn't me bashing anyone who has said this; there's no way for me to know what their motivations were unless I ask them, and I wouldn't bother. I'd rather take the congratulations. 

I'm just sitting here after checking on my boys snoozing in their rooms, and standing there for a while listening to their breathing.

So happy to have them.

That's all.